In Real: Part 2, I spoke about how our experience can shape our consciousness, specifically our awareness and understanding of others. I considered how privilege can make us blind to others’ perspectives and other people’s ways of being in the world. In this post, I ask the question: Once we’ve recognised this – once we’re confronted with the (usually severe) limitations of our own perspectives – what then? How do we show up nonetheless? How do we embark courageously on a journey of “filling in the picture”, of updating our maps, knowing that not only have we been blind and somewhat stupid up until this point, but also we will necessarily get it wrong and cause further hurt along the way? Finally, I explore what showing up means in terms of how we engage with reality.
Category: Self & Identity
Real (Part 2): The reality of perspectives and privilege
How much of the world is real to you? How big is the “real estate” in your mind? To me, one major aspect of reality awareness is recognising different subjective realities. In other words, I am moving from knowing the self to knowing and understanding others.
Real (Part 1)
What makes us “real”? I’m not talking about knowing whether or not we exist, whether we are live flesh and blood, or even whether we are conscious, but rather about what makes us real “in context” - and, more importantly, "in relation". In Margery Williams's The Velveteen Rabbit, the Skin Horse tells the Rabbit that we become Real by being loved. Are we not also seen into realness?
The Power of the Third Person
In a webinar I attended once on the value of presence, the presenters shared a metaphor for being mindful of your own thoughts: "Engage your third person". In storytelling, the third person is used as a form of narration that is outside of the action. Can we play third person or “third party” to the action in our own minds? Are we able to play not just the role of mediator, but also of witness? And when would this be useful?
The limits of authenticity
What is authenticity? What does it mean to be our true selves? What does it mean to “show up”, and how are these two things different? Does authenticity mean bringing all of ourselves to every moment? And ultimately, what is the point of authenticity?
Selfie-consciousness and the Zoom camera
I recently learned how to hide yourself on Zoom. No, I’m not talking about turning off your camera – that’s something we all learned to do many months ago, whether to save bandwidth or to spare others the sight of our morning hair or living rooms. Rather, I’m talking about turning off the video of ourselves that we see by default whenever our camera is switched on. In other words, I’m talking about letting others see you without having to see a constant reflection of yourself. Like, you know, how meetings used to be.
Free Will, Control and Giving Everyone a Break
We think we think our thoughts. We think we’re starting each moment in the driver’s seat. But when you really reflect on where all of our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and choices come from. you start to see that this belief has no foundation. Our thoughts, as it were, think us. What if we were able to accept that control is an illusion - and that not only are we not really in the driver's seat, but nobody is?
Nobody Home: What happens when we dethrone our illusory inner Mini-Me
From others’ perspective, you are a person. What are you from your own perspective? We live in our heads, but are we our minds? And what might we be without - or beyond - our imagined and embodied selves?
All & None of the Above 