My mother used to quote this poem (which I only recently Googled to discover that it was penned by the same man who gave us The Sheep Pig): “Patience is a virtue, Virtue is a grace, Grace is a little girl who wouldn’t wash her face.” - Dick King Smith If there isn’t some cynicism around virtues themselves, I believe there is certainly cynicism around aspiring towards them. Where does this come from? What is the value of virtues? And is there value in contemplating qualities that might seem lofty and vague at best, and therefore unattainable or meaningless at worst?
Tag: Compassion and Connection
Real Part 3: The Blind Rise
In Real: Part 2, I spoke about how our experience can shape our consciousness, specifically our awareness and understanding of others. I considered how privilege can make us blind to others’ perspectives and other people’s ways of being in the world. In this post, I ask the question: Once we’ve recognised this – once we’re confronted with the (usually severe) limitations of our own perspectives – what then? How do we show up nonetheless? How do we embark courageously on a journey of “filling in the picture”, of updating our maps, knowing that not only have we been blind and somewhat stupid up until this point, but also we will necessarily get it wrong and cause further hurt along the way? Finally, I explore what showing up means in terms of how we engage with reality.
The Power of the Third Person
In a webinar I attended once on the value of presence, the presenters shared a metaphor for being mindful of your own thoughts: "Engage your third person". In storytelling, the third person is used as a form of narration that is outside of the action. Can we play third person or “third party” to the action in our own minds? Are we able to play not just the role of mediator, but also of witness? And when would this be useful?
Ask What, not Why
In my recent work, which involved exploring how to teach critical thinking to university students, I began asking myself questions about how we ask questions. Personally, I've realised certain downsides to the “why” approach to life. On the one hand, I identify strongly as a “why” person, to the extent that my Instagram motto is “All who wonder are not lost”. On the other hand, I also identify as an overthinker, and I’ve come to recognise the effects that ceaseless questioning has not only on my own anxiety levels, but on others. So, I’ve come up with some experimental advice for those who, like me, are prone to overthinking: Try asking "what" instead of “why”. Let me explain (no irony lost there...)
The limits of authenticity
What is authenticity? What does it mean to be our true selves? What does it mean to “show up”, and how are these two things different? Does authenticity mean bringing all of ourselves to every moment? And ultimately, what is the point of authenticity?
Self Care versus Self Compassion
What are the differences between self-care and self-compassion? There is a sense that the one is about behaviour and the other is about regard; hence, self-care is something we do, in the form of activities or rituals, while self-compassion (or perhaps more commonly referred to as self-love) is an attitude we have towards ourselves. In this post I explore the issues I have with some interpretations of self-care in the mainstream – how it has become monetised, used as yet another form of consumerism, and even become a way of avoiding responsibility for real self-nurturing and growth. But I’ve also been reminded that self-compassion is the conviction, the fundamental self-acceptance, that is necessary to enable self-care in the first place. After all, some days you’re too down to even self-sustain, let alone deem yourself worthy of looking after.
All & None of the Above 